So many of us run away from feelings of discomfort. We do this because our brain tells us to… because it keeps us safe. Safe from harm and safe from disappointment. You know what else it keeps you safe from when presented with discomfort? Growth, breakthrough, development and the opportunity to move through fear into courage and connection.
I know what it feels like… the discomfort. Like when someone presents us with an idea different to our own ideas and beliefs (cognitive dissonance). Or when a difficult concept is being explained and we don’t understand or agree. Often we lash out or grab onto that opportunity to get into a debate in the interest of being right or feeling that we more correct than the opposing party. This is okay, we are all guilty of it at one stage or another. I call this feeling of discomfort ‘The Uncomfortable Crab’.
Why do I call it this? Well, because for crabs to grow first they must become very uncomfortable in their exoskeleton. They then go and hide away in safety whilst they shed their skeleton until the new soft one grows harder. This analogy is one I look at and apply to myself whenever I feel really uncomfortable with something, because discomfort really does give us the opportunity to look at our ‘stuff’, dissolve the stories and emotions we attach to the discomfort so we can move through it and grow as a result.
What do I mean by the stories and emotions we attach to the discomfort? When something makes us uncomfortable we will often dismiss, name-call (out loud or in our head), or simply reject the new idea because we have a story of our own that is contrary to this new idea or concept that we are being presented with. Along with the story is the emotion that it’s attached to. The stories we tell ourselves are often if not always not 100% true, they simply represent our state of perception at the time. Our stories often don’t serve us and neither do the emotions we attach to them, and yet we cling onto them with both hands because we use them as armour. What would happen if just for a moment we laid down our stories and the emotion and listen to others with an open mind and an open heart in the interest of grown and development. Often releasing the belief around our stories is painful, but it really doesn’t have to be.
None of us are perfect, and yes we all have different beliefs about things. What is a belief? A belief is really just a thought you keep thinking and then your brain accepts it as fact. So what happens if we start offering our brains different thoughts? Ones that we don’t necessarily believe but are healthier than the ones we currently have. Does the brain eventually accept this as fact too? Yes, yes it does! You can actually tell your brain anything over and over again and eventually the neural connection is made and just like magic it becomes a new belief. Is this always helpful, well no, you don’t really want to run around telling yourself big fat whoppers that are completely untrue and out of alignment with who you are. But you do want to rewire things like
I am growing to love the condition I fondly refer to as ‘The Uncomfortable Crab’, because it means that growth is one the horizon. A big breakthrough is coming and I will soon perceive what I am struggling with entirely differently and allow new thoughts and energies to flow through me. It can be really difficult to allow yourself to fully experience this in the beginning. After all, we all want to be right about things but does it really matter in the end? If you’re right about everything your whole life you never learn anything or grow into being the person you came here to be. That’s not much fun at all!
My big message here is to give yourself the opportunity to lean into the discomfort, embrace ‘The Uncomfortable Crab’ and prepare to allow yourself to embody the change that is upon you. It doesn’t have to be hard, but it is uncomfortable… and I’m pretty sure nobody has ever died from feeling uncomfortable.
xx